i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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