He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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