so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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