Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
