All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
