I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
