just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
