My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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