I feel like abortions should bother me more
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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