I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
