I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
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