So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
