Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
