Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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