yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
