so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize