OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
