she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
