Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
