she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
