It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
