But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
