We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
