we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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