I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
