This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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