Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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