i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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