This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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