You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
