The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
