doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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