I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
home. puking in laundry basket.
high people should be assigned attendants
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
