The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
