she smelled like a LAN party
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
