cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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