kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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