Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
