$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
