Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
