Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
