there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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