HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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