I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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