There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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