I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
