in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
