sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
