I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
