Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
