And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
