dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
