you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize