I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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