Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
