Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
