There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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