Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
