We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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