you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
