Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
