but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
