she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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