you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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