Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
